Dreams

[MASON564]

ARE YOU READY FOR THIS ONE? :(IM NOT SURE IF I AM ???HERE GOES.I HAD A DREAM------NO IT WASNT US WALKING HAND IN HAND. :)SERIOUSLY THOUGH.THE DREAM I CAN UNDERSTAND COMES FROM WORRIES YOU HAVE TO,BUT THE ENDING PART LEADS ME TO THINK OF TWO POSSIBILITIES.OK HERE GOES AS YOU CAN TELL IT REALLY BOTHERS ME.I'VE BEEN DREAMING IT THE LAST FEW DAYS.NORMALLY I TRUST MY GUT FEELING.I'M CONFUSED.YOU NOW THE HEART AND THE MIND ALONG WITH THE GUT INTERFER WITH EACH OTHER.LOOK HERE I AM SUPPOSE TO PUT DOWN MY DREAM AND I'M RAMBLING. OK I THINK I'M READY TO TELL IT.HMMMMMMMMM.I DREAMT MY HUSBAND WAS SEEING ANOTHER WOMAN >:(NOT A VERY HAPPY SITUATION AND MUST I SAW NOT THE BEST SITUATION FOR MY HUSBANDS NOR THE OTHER WOMENS HEALTH.THEY MAY JUST GET A NEW HEALTH PROBLEM.ITS CALLED THE MASON SYNDROM. ANYWAYS---I BUSTED THEM TOGETHER.DONT NOW HOW I DID CUZ I ALWAYS HAVE THE KIDS.THE KIDS WEREN'T THERE.ANYWAYS I BUSTED THEM AND I BEET THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF BOTH OF THEM.MY HUSBAND BEING MUCH STRONGER THAN I I USED A POOL STICK ON HIM THEN STOMPED HIM IN THE FACE WITH MY BOOTS ;D AND THE WOMAN I JUST MESSED UP HER PRETTY LITTLE FACE PERMANENTLY.I FELT AS THOUGH I WAS THERE.BUT LIKE I SAID BEFORE I HAVE VERY VIVID DREAMS.SOMEHOW AT THE END OF THE DREAM EVEN THOUGH I BEAT THEM UP (I WON YET I LOST),I WAS RIPPED INTO SEVERAL PIECES AND MY PARTS THAT WERE LYING ON THE GROUND WERE BEING EATEN.AS IF THEY WERE CHIPS.MY BODY PIECES EATEN!!!! .I DONT KNOW.BUT THATS WHY IM HERE.HOPFULLY YOU WILL KNOW.I MEAN I HAVE TWO DIFFERENT IDEALS.MAYBE YOUR POINT OF VIEW BEING AN OUTSIDER(NO OFFENCE) WILL BE BETTER.YOU WONT HAVE ALL THESE PIECES (HEART GUT MIND)INTERFERING WITH YOUR THOUGHTS.DO YOU THINK I HAVE TAKEN ENOUGH OF YOUR TIME?HAVE I BUGGED YOU TO FAR? :)WELL I THINK IM DONE.ALRIGHT I AM.BYE

[hotlips70]

Oh Honey, This is a hard one for me cause I am mind, soul, Heart, and gut involed.... :-XOur dreams usally tell us what we don't want to know or see . I would say listen to your dream....the ending part about you getting eaten I belive that to be your heart felling to tear of losing your husband. That it will rip you apart and the hate that you have WILL eat you alive. I suggest that you Hire a private dick or find away of finding out. Don't freak out. I wouldn't want you to ruin your marriage over this. Sometimes it is just a F--- up that they do thinking that the grass is greener and they learn it's not.
I am so sorry honey, >:(it happened to me. I had a dream that I caught my husband at a hotel in Maine. That I beat the crap out of her and then left to get our daughter and I left him...WEll my loving hubby did cheat , and it was with the same - itch that I dreamed about. I didn't beat her I didn't leave him.He says that they never did anything, but i'm not stupid...The hate was eating me alive though. I went up to the slut and told her that I forgave her for trying to sleep with my hubby and for trying to break up my family. She turned it all on him and said that she did nothing . That he was after her. But she was the one calling my house 24-7. I forgave him too, But as I told him I WILL NEVER FORGET! If he EVER does this again I am out with our daughter and I am going after everything that he has! He so far has done nothing to piss me off . She has been smart an has stayed away from me. I didn't do anything cause of my daughter....I didn't want her taken from me. But as I told my hubby....there had not be a next time.
So you see i am involed and I really can't help you out to well cause of my emotions...I wish you well I hope that I have helped you out alittle bit by sharing my story with you. Good luck hun.

[MASON564]

you have helped a lot.i am deeply in love with my husband.even to this day the world could be on my shoulders every worry there is on my mind and he just walks in the door and everything has been taken away.just a smile it cures me. ;Di dont know how or what to say about your relationship.i dont know if it's stronger to stay or stronger to leave.i'm not a very trusting person.everyman except 2 have slept around on me.my friends tell me its because i treat them equal.i let them go hang out with their friends and not question them.i do believe a man as well as a women needs time with their friends.i dont see why i have to nag or question them.they know whats appriote and what isnt.they know whats need to be done.why should i tell them over and over again?perhaps they are right.to tell you honestly--i know it would tear me apart.i know it will hurt.i know there will be times i will miss long and need him.but i also know i would always wonder what would be going on.is he trying to meet some girl every time he walks out the door.the girl who smiled is that her?i dont think i could ever be with someone i couldnt trust.if i cant trust them then my kids will pick up on that.thats not a life i want them to see.at least not at home.on the other hand i couldnt imagine my life without him in it.if he cheats i will survive it.i will get stronger and i will make him think about me everytime he wonders where the good life went.he will regret it.im not saying he is right now.it could just be me.i do get suspicious a lot. :)i can say his prized possesions would be destroyed.if he can ruin mine(my family)then i can ruin his. :)thanks so much for everything.hearing it from someone else who has experienced it and has stayed gives me confidence and helps out a lot.i appreciate it very much.thanks. ;D

[hotlips70]

Mason,
I am so glad that I could help you. It means alot to me that I have been able to help. I am not saying that I trust him,cause I don't! I don't trust people very much either. I have been screwed over way to many times...As I tell everyone the only person I trust is my daughter and that's because she is to young to screw me over. I know she is going to do stupid shit and lie to me hell we all do it with our mothers. Ok sorry back on the subject. If I can help you out with anything I am here. It is really hard when your Husband cheats on you. Hell the skank that he screwed around on me with works right next door to our gargae, so it is even harder. It will take along time to trust him again, and I am sure that you will do just fine sweetie. Like I said don't jump into anything Find out for sure first..I have to cut this short My hubby is right here.....good luck..

[MASON564]

well my dreams are getting worse.more vivid and sometimes i swear i feel the air,i feel my fist connect,i feel everything except the emoitional pain.i smell the smoke,the ground beneath my feet,etc.i swear its weird.tomorrow i go out with a friend girl.we're suppose to hang out.because i have the gut telling me he's messing around on me,i went last week to have a pap just to make sure everything is ok there.i find out the results tomorrow.last nights dream was so vivid.i swear i could make out where it was when i busted him with her.its in a restraunt.like a buffet type.they were sitting across from each other holding one hand together and smoking cigarettes.i walk in with my friend and see them.iof course i hit him in the restraunt.then i leave.again my body is torn into pieces by something.even though its me its like im watching it.i watch as a bunch of cats consume my body parts.they eat everything even the bones.there's nothing left of me to be found.i hope the dreams stop once i get the results from the dr.i figure i have the dreams because of emoitions and once i find out the results the dreams will stop.i guess im just weird.i get a lot of dreams.i know what you mean about being screwed over a lot.im glad things are better for you.have fun.hope your day is good.

[hotlips70]

Sweetie let me ask you a quick question, Does he have a cell phone? If he does you should get ahold of it and check it out for numbers and voice mail messages. I hope my hubby never finds my password or comes on and checks, but that is what I did to him. That is how I know they were messing around...f*&^ing A$$hole!!!!!!!!!! sorry..had too. I would check his wallet and start to snop. They say that when a woman has this feeling there is a reason. Plus add your dreams to it and I would start checking..I still check my hubsands things, his car, his truck, his cell phone, his wallet, when I get the chance. I can't always do it....I don't want him to know I am doing it, so I hardly ever get a chance, but when I do , I do!
sorry..I do hope that all works out for you. I know you can't always trust all your dreams....but they all havve a meaning behind them.
I hope all goes well with the doctor....let us know, ok? Love ya...good luck.

[MASON564]

please tell me how you do it.my test which i got thursday came back fine.nothing there.i was so happy.so much stress just popped off of me.then i saw my world crash on me in a restruant.my whole world just left me.im torn in half now.so please tell me how did you deal with it and stay.

[hotlips70]

Oh Honey I am SSSSOOOOO Sorry....Oh God I was hoping that I was wrong... God I wish that I could be there to help you... I am not really sure I how I made it thur.. I just did..I didn't eat or sleep for almost 2 weeks..When I would try to eat I would get very sick...And I didn't beat the shit out of anyone either, which surprised everyone who knows me... I am not sure..I am here for you though whenever you need me ok....just try and keep your chin up ok...Love ya...

[MASON564]

my friend sarah was surprized i didnt do a lot worse than i did.i guess there's a funny side to it.sarah hasnt seen my man in about four years.she thought i hit a complete stranger.she says it went by to fast for her to even see who it was let alone why.i saw him in a restraunt with another women.they were eating.i dont even remember what she looked like.i remember throwing my drink and hitting him.then i went to lok for her.she was gone.i have no ideal where she went to.do you know what his story was?i have to give him credit for orginality.he claims he thought she was one of my friends and he thought i was setting him up.so he went along with the game.he claims i was pressuring him to go.me?yeah right.i do admit his responce threw me one.never in a million years would i have expected that excuse.do i buy it? yeah right.part of me wants to dont get me wrong.i dont buy it.now when i look at him i wonder was he thinking of her?so many things improved in our lives since the ending of july.thats what got me wondering.he seemed nicer sweeter more like the man i married.i knew something was wrong. :)look what happened?thank you so much.you have no ideal what you are doing for me.i dont think i could even tell you.you are so helpful in many ways. not just with the fact you have survived it,but also for listening to me ramble through this.i thank you from the bootm of my heart.it means a lot to me.

[hotlips70]

Sweetie I am very sorry... I want you to know that I am always here for you, whenever you need me. I didn't catch mine, he told me cause I kept asking..I knew he was messing around. It was reallt hard for me I wanted to beat the shit out of him and out of her. The only thing that kept going thur my mind was my family is ruined. My daughter is going to grow up with out a father....then when time past little by little I kept remembering my love for him. I wanted to fight for what was mine! I did what I could, I didn't fight, I did what I could to let him know that I loved him and that I was not going to give up on us. I did some things that I said I never would just to show him. And the hate for her and him started to eat me alive. I could feel myself going into a downword sprial. I had to tell him that I forgave him, I would never forget and It was going to take ALOT for me to trust him again. Plus I went up to the hussy, and I told her that I forgave her for trying to steal my man...She said that they didn't do anything and that he was stalking her. what a bunch of bullshit! She was the one calling his cell phone 24-7 and Waking my kids up I freaked....
I have to get going..My hubby is awake and wants to leave so I have to go..sorry...I will be on Monday to finish up when he is gone...Love ya...

[MASON564]

i cant get the image out of my head.seeing him there with her.i am so happy to have you to talk to.it means the world to me.listening to what you went through and knowing you survived it and stayed means even more to me.did you get those feelings back?like my mans smile always did miracles.the feeling i felt when in his arms.the occassionaly look that drove me wild.or the moments when you look at them and feel the love,the peace,the overwhelming happiness.have those feelings came back for you?i really wish i could just go back to that moment and erase it.to not have seen what i saw.why?why do ifeel like im losing him?why do i have that fear?why do i need him right now?why do ifeel like if i leave then i gave up on our family? part of me says he gave up on it when he did what he did.that he must not care,love or respect me or he wouldn't have been with her.i dont want to be in a relationship where he doesn't love me.then of course i know you cn love someone and still cheat on them.where did i go wrong?what was our relationship lacking?he claims nothing was lacking.he claims he loves me.he claims he never did anything with her,but then he claimed he was going hunting when he was with her at the restraunt.yeah he was hunting,not for varmits.he was hunting some strange down.why couldn't he be smart enough to go to a town where i don't go?men they really need to use their brains more.its like when the blood rushes to the one head it drains from the top one. :)i hope to hear from you real soon.i dont think i could thank you enough for all that you're doing for me.i like hearing about what you went through and how you dealt with it.it gives me hope.maybe my heart will win this battle and the brain can tell me if it happens again "i told you so" :)i'm not for sure which one is going to win yet.they both have good points and great arguements.thanks whole bunches for everything you're doing.

[hotlips70]

Oh sweetie I am not doing anything.... I am just glad that I can be here for you. It is a very hard time to have to go through alone.
My man did it at his garage. He would go in at night late around 10 or 11 and say that he forgot to do paperwork or he need to fix something...or he would go in really early around 3 or 4 in the morning...when I had our daughter and couldn't go check...

I am really sorry sweetie I have to cut this short...my hubby is about to come in and I don't want him to see this. I will see ya tomorrow to help you ok..LOVE Ya and keep your chin up ok....

~ Hot

[MASON564]

dont cut yourself so short.being here and telling me your experience is a lot.it does a lot for me too.dont say youre not doing anything,because you are doing a lot.you have helped me to see that there is hope after this.knowing that you are still with him let's me know that perhaps we can get through it too.i haven't leaped for the divorce yet.i'm still not sure what i'm going to do.like i said before my heart wants to stay and my brain wants to leave.i dont understand why people cheat.if you dont want to be with someone just tell them.yeah it may hurt them,but finding out you're screwing around is going to hurt even more.i've always encouraged him to be open.tell me how you feel,what you think.i know its hard to express feelings.he probably knows i would have left him.honesty is whats needed.i think i would have taken it better if he told me then to see it.at least then the images wouldn't be burnt in my head.i dream about them.so i cant sleep well.i got some sleeping pills to help.then i cry alone so much i have a headache.it's begining to consume me.everytime he smiles or touches me i wonder if he's thinking of her.i feel so bad for laying all this on you.i'm sure you're tired of listening to me. ;Di dont blame you.also i wouldn't want my man to read this either.it's the only place i feel like i can express myself.i can talk openly with you and not be laughed at for being weak or crying.thank you so much.

[hotlips70]

Sweetie, It took awhile for things to get better and at times they are still hard. Some of the feelings came back to me. Looking in his eyes I can see that he loves me, but At other times it is a blank look. His smile...well it doesn't really get to me as much as it did... When I first found out and he would touch me I would get sick to my stomach. I would get chills. Now his ahnds are warm and loving. There are times that I really think that he is screwing around on me again. He knows that if it happens again and I find out (which I will( I am gone and I am going after EVERYTHING! AS far he has been really good and has been trying to make it up to me ever since.
It is not easy, it is going to take time for you to ever trust him again. He is going to have to do alot to earn that back.
I am going to tell you why he said he did what he did to me... He said it was cause I don't keep a clean house. How f%^&ing lame is that. We have to much shit and no place to put it cause we live with his parents... no room. He says that is the only complaint that he has about me. I say if that is the only thing you don't like you had better be pretty damn happy with me... It is just that my house isn't spotless. But I don't know any house that is!
I am not tired of listening to you. I am here for you... I am glad that I can help out. I will always be here for you. Don't worry about it. Whatever I can do to help just ask. All you can do is take it one day at a time and before you know it you will be sleeping again and eatting again....There is a ray of sunshine behind the dark clouds
I will talk to you later...Just breath and take it a day at a time.

[MASON564]

men.my house isnt spotless i'll never claim it is.i suppose i could clean it better,but it just ends up dirty again. :)i usually clean twice a day.once when the little guy is asleep and then after the kids are all in bed.if i'm to tired after they fall asleep forget it.ill do a quick picker up. :)that reminds me the one time my man years ago claimed he wanted a divorce.one was the kids didnt listen that much,but really what kid does? ;Dthe other which was equally dumb was because i wore his tshirts and sweetpants. :)they're comfortable.besides he wore mine too.my god if we thought how they did we'd never have a relatonship.my man leaves his beard hairs in the bathroom sink.instead of throwing a fit i just clean it.or my pet peeve is he sqeezes the toothpaste in the middle. :)men they dont know how lucky they are to have us. ;Dthank you for everything.you have been very helpful. :-*i feel selfish for laying this on you and asking for your support.it means a lot to me that you are here and willing to tell me how you felt and how you dealt with it.it gives me hope.