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Post by charmedluver on Dec 14, 2003 19:47:53 GMT -5
i really like the joke i thought it was really funny ;D
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Post by libra254 on Dec 14, 2003 19:59:28 GMT -5
I don't get it!!  |
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Post by TrustNo1SM on Dec 14, 2003 19:59:55 GMT -5
Lost In The Snow
A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what
her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow
storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."
Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.
She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the
driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She
explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the
snow, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart
parking lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart."
I love this joke. For some silly reason
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Post by libra254 on Dec 14, 2003 20:02:30 GMT -5
that's funny!
oh, i finally got the joke!!!!! no f in weigh!!hehe
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Post by TrustNo1SM on Dec 14, 2003 23:45:28 GMT -5
haha Yay you finally got it.
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Post by charmedluver on Dec 15, 2003 20:40:10 GMT -5
i like that joke Ash ;D
YAY Libra finally got it ;D
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Post by TrustNo1SM on Dec 16, 2003 12:33:42 GMT -5
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Post by ~*~Kit_The_Kat~*~ on Dec 16, 2003 16:19:30 GMT -5
I had faith in you Libra, I knew you would get it if you were anything like me, you had to write it out and hear what you were writing before it came to you. ;D ;D ;D And Ash, that was a classic joke.... and thanks for the website hon.  Keep 'em coming guys....... we all could enjoy a great laugh each day ;D |
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Andi
Whitelighter
Wrinkles are only where smiles have been.
Posts: 487
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Post by Andi on Dec 21, 2003 9:37:37 GMT -5
That was good too, now you can follow me over to K-Mart. ;D
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Post by TrustNo1SM on Jan 13, 2004 14:42:55 GMT -5
Ok I have another one. Sorry if you have already heard it. I don't know the name though. ok
There were three guys in a plan one had a gun, one had a mistle, and one had a bomb.
So the pilate says to the three guys that they are going to have to jump out of the plane because the engines failed.
So the guy with the gun jumps out first but losses his gun when he gets down to the ground he sees a little boy crying so he askes "Why are you crying?" and the little boy replys "Because a gun fell from the sky and hit my mommy in the head and now she is dead"
Next the second guy jumps out and losses his Mistle and the same thing happens only it was a little girl crying so he askes "Why are you crying" She Replys "because a mistle fell from the sky and it hit my daddy in the head and now he is dead"
Then the third guy jumps out of the plane and losses his bomb so when he gets down to the ground he sees a little boy laughing so he askes "Why are you laughing" and the little boy replys "Because I farted and the house behind me blew up"
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Andi
Whitelighter
Wrinkles are only where smiles have been.
Posts: 487
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Post by Andi on Jan 15, 2004 22:51:01 GMT -5
That's good too. This is one that I heard from my friends Mother's pastor. Did you catch that? he he Anyway here's the joke: A little boy is sitting in Church next to his family and he has really bad gas. Finally, his Mother tells him "Go over there and sit in your own pew". ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D I thought it was cute.  |
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Post by ~*~Kit_The_Kat~*~ on Jan 16, 2004 10:23:10 GMT -5
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Post by TrustNo1SM on Jan 16, 2004 13:24:09 GMT -5
haha thats funny
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Post by ~*~Kit_The_Kat~*~ on Jan 19, 2004 15:59:37 GMT -5
Here's a cute "kid" one I got from a friend today:
Why We Love Children
1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later....." Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty Can you bring drink of water?"
"No, You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: " Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......" Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
Shefinally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said,
"That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,
"Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
6 When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,
"Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
10 A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."
She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."
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Post by libra254 on Jan 19, 2004 19:47:50 GMT -5
very cute mini-stories, Kit!!
I especially liked #2 and #9.
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