Funny Internet Jokes

[CharmingP4]

sorry i haven't been sharing jokes in quite awhile but i couldnt' pass up on this one...

[glow=red,2,300]Monks Made a Mistake

One day, two monks were in the vaults of the monastery going through the old scrolls.
"You see, there are the originals," said the first monk. "All the new scrolls were copied from these."

"Can I see one?"

"Sure. This is one outlines the rules for monkdom--" All of a sudden, the monk's face turns white and he falls to his knees.

"What? What does it say?"

"Celebrate. IT SAYS CELEBRATE!"

[/glow]

[CR]

ok that went way over my head but then again it is late and i should be getting to bed

[**~~Dark Emperess~~**]

I got a new one. Just in case no1 reads it here, I'll copy it in my thread.

[glow=blue,2,300]A man had lived a good life, and God wanted to reward him.
God: For living such a good life, I will give you a reward. What is something you really want?

Man: Well, I want a bridge leading from California to Hawaii.

God: That's alot of material. If I just make a bridge appear, people will start to wonder. Is there anything else you want?

Man: Well, I've always wanted a better understanding of women.

God: Will that be a four lane bridge or a six lane bridge?[/glow]

[**~~Dark Emperess~~**]

OK, I haven't posted a joke in over a year, so here goes. No one will probably read it, but here goes any way.


[glow=magenta,2,300]
God's Gifts
Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating.

"It’s a very handy thing" God told the couple, "and I was wondering if either one of you wanted that abilty."

Adam jumped up and blurted "Oh, give that to me! I’d love to be able to do that. It seems the sort of thing a man would do. Please give me that ability. It’d be so great. When I’m working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let fly. It’d be sooo cool. I could write my name in the sand. Please, God, let it be me you give the gift to, let me stand to pee, oh please."

Eve just smiled and said that if Adam really wanted that so bad that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make Adam really happy, and she didn’t mind if Adam were the one to get this ability. Adam was happy, and proceeded to wash down the bark of the nearest tree, laughing with glee all the while.

"Fine", God said, looking back into his bag of leftovers. "What’s left here? Oh, yes. Multiple orgasms."
[/glow]