Dear Chatty

[Andi]

Hey there Newly Charmed

I just remembered that you can't ask the Mental Clinic about hm, they won't tell you anything without written permission, but I was reading what Kit said and she has a good point too. You should meet with him in a VERY public place and just tell him that you don't want him to bother you anymore. I know how hard it is, I've been there with weirdo's too, but sometimes, weirdo's don't take "NO" for an answer so you have to be mean to them so that they get it, and leave you alone. Please let me know what you decide to do and how it goes. Now, I'm worried about you too. You don't want to give me any MORE white hairs do you? he he ;D Hugs.

[Newlycharmed]

Hey everyone,
I just wanted to thank you all for the advice. You were all pretty much thinking what I was thinking. From what I can see and from what he's told me he really doesn't have any friends and most of his family is dead or he doesn't get along with them (yet another RED FLAG). But I don't think that he would ever explode, he seems to be more of a gentle giant (but I'm not going to take my chances on that one either). He's supposed to be moving out of state in the next couple of weeks so right now I'm just trying to bide my time and see what goes on. I will let you all know what happens. And don't worry about me, I don't want you all to have grey hairs too early in your lives Talk to you all soon. CIAO!!!
c-ya
luv-ya
Mal

p.s. andi we're all friends here you can call me mal

[Andi]

Hey there Mal

How's it going? I hope all is well. I'll bet you can't wait for him to move. Maybe you could just e-mail each other if you still want to be his friend. Ya know, he sounds like he's just been dealt a bad hand in life and he really needs a friend. Too bad he had to pick you though, huh? I hope he finds a male friend that he can relate to and talk to about stuff. I'm kinda sad for him. But, at the same time, he makes me nervous, so just don't find yourself alone with him ever.
Thanks for being my friend too. You're a sweetie.

[Newlycharmed]

Hey Andi!!!
Yeah I've got just about 2 weeks before he's outta here. I mean I had no problem just being a friend to him, but he just shared too much info in a short amount of time (the funny thing is though that this happens to me all the time with people...i don't know why but they just seem to talk to me about all of this stuff.....and trust me some of it is really crazy) and that's what kinda threw me for a loop. For now I have blocked him from my IM becuz' it seemed like he was waiting for me to come on so he had someone to talk to, and I had other things that I was trying to take care of. I really believe that he has been dealt a bad hand in life, but I also believe that you can also change your direction and bring yourself out of some things. And I just don't think that he has really tried. But the again that's just me. Don't worry I'm not going to find myself alone with him in the near future or hopefully again. I will talk to you soon. CIAO!!!
c-ya
luv-ya
Mal

[Amanda]

Hmm alright it's my first time in this thread, didnt even know it was here till I started looking around. I was gonna post this in my chit chat topic but I decided against it. As you can see i'm avoiding talking about this lol but.. alright well I need some advice. See a very close friend of mine is going through a very, very hard time in her life right now. And my other friends and I have been trying to help her but were coming up short. Shes very depressed about her b/f dumping her, he was like the only guy she ever loved and shes like cutting herself now. So I'm at a loss, what would you guys do?

[TrustNo1SM]

Hey Amanda,
Have you tired talking to her about her problem?
If you have and she still isn't responding then you need to go to either your parents or her parents and tell them that you are really worried about her because she is physically hurting herself.
She obviously needs help but there is only so much you can say to her without someone parent wise knowing about it. You know what I mean?
Does she realise that what she is doing is dangerous?
Sometimes people who physically hurt themselves or have eating disorders don't see it as hurting themselves. She probably sees it as a way to take away her pain from loosing her boyfriend.
Let me know ok. I hope I helped.

[Amanda]

Hey Ash,
See my friends 20 but i still talked to her parents. And they went to talk to her but she just acted as if nothing was going on and her parents just gave up. I talked to her about it and she just got mad and stormed off. So I went and talked to her old b/f hoping that would help, and he went and talked to her. She got mad and slapped him, so I think i'm going to have to what, go to a therapist for her or someting? i'm not sure...

[hotlips70]

Amanda I just read about your friend. I can't and won't tell you what to do, but I will suggest that you hurry up and do something. Even if you have to call a shrink for her. I had a friend that use to cut herself, when I was in high school. Needless to say no one knew and noone did anything to help her. In my senior year of high school she killed herself. That was when everyone found out about her cutting herself. It was way to late. Do what you have to do to help. She doesn't know what she is doing.....Call anyone, ask your doctor who you can call to help out. Your doctor should be able to help you. Good Luck.

[Amanda]

Ok I talked to my doctor who called a shrink out for her. They went over there today and had to take her away. It was very hard to watch them take her since she's been my close friend since highschool. I just hope she wont be mad at me... thanks for all the help guys.

[TrustNo1SM]

Hey Amanda,
You did the right thing. I hope she won't get mad at you I hope that she realizes that this was for her own good. You are a great friend and I hope she sees that. We are here if you need us ok.

[hotlips70]

Amanda she is going to be mad at you at least for alittle while. She will see that you did it cause you love her. And then she will mellow, you DID do the right thing. Don't ever forget that.

[Amanda]

Thanks guys.. I figure she is pretty mad at me so I havn't gone to see her yet. Thanks for all the help guys. I know i did the right thing, it was just hard you know. Anyway, thanks.

[MASON564]

my hat is off to you amanda!great job with your friend.she may be mad but shell relise you did what was best for at a time she didnt know what was best.it had to been a hard thing to do,but doing the right thing is never easy. people like you make this world a better place. ;D

[TrustNo1SM]

She'll come around. And like Mason and Hot said realize that you were only trying to help.

[CharmingP4]

Okay guys I really need advice cause I don't really have anyone else I can discuss this with because none of my friends know my feelings for my friend Jim (if anyone has read my thread you should know who he is and the complicated web that's being woven).

Anyways, so I have been real outta it lately and part of it is because of him. As always. See, about two weeks ago we had plans to hang out and he wasn't home all day and never called or anything. Baisically he stood me up. This was the second time this had happened. The first time I was hurt and upset, but after a week or so I let him off the hook, even though I was still upset. So this time, I was hurt even more and didn't let him off the hook. I was just gonna let him call me whenever he got around to it and realized he needed to apoligize. Well as of this weekend, he had still not called, it'd been two weeks. And while I was upset, I was starting to not care also. So then I was hanging out with my friend Charmaine and we decided to go out to eat and she asked if we could call Jim and invite him along. I told her I would rather not but if she really wanted to, to go ahead. When what I really meant was, no I refuse to be in the same room as him. But of course I didn't say that. So she calls him and he's home and, get this, he decides to BE LATE TO BAND PRACTICE to meet her for dinner. Keep in mind, this whole time she was talking to him she failed to mention I was in the car too, until he had agreed to go. Which I don't think she did on purpose. But, I am fairly convinced Jim wants Charm so it didn't suprise me he would go to lengths like that to see her. So we get the the restaurant and he's waiting inside and I dont' say hello or anything, I didn't let him sit nexxt to me and the whole meal I only looked at him once and sparingly spoke to him. I was getting real upset just sitting across from him. But to make matters worse, Charm was talking to him and apperently even though she and I usually talk quite openly (except about how I feel for Jim because of obvious reasons), but she was telling him things really quietly and whispering something to him. Now I am fairly positive that she was telling him that she and her BF broke up again, because I got vibes that the two had broken up even though she didn't tell me. Plus, Jim made comments outloud about what she said, and...well...I do have ears...so I knew what they were talking about. And while I guess it's up to her who she shares her news with, and I know she's real upset about it.....it hurt me that she couldn't tell me....but....it just also bothored me that the two were being so friendly. I mean, they've always been real friendly and they talk about art and music and all that because they're both artists....so I guess they have a lot in common. But now that she's single....and I know he's into her...and I think in a way, just a little, she's into him too. She even made a comment last night, that if she had to choose between anyone that we worked with at the theater to have a relationship with, she said she'd choose Jim. And she said it without a second of thougtht.

Now, I just am so confused. Like....I coulda sworn Jim and I had this mutual....thing...going on. I mean you guys have read all my posts about him......but then he hurts me by standing me up and such...oh and when confronted on that, he just said "oh i forgot, i'm sorry, are you mad?" I mean...if he liked me he wouldn't forget about me....and...he and Charm will hang out and he won't stand her up.

So what is really bothering me is; do I call him up and spend some time with him and see what's what....and have the chance to....just....well not have him and her end up together........ OR do I keep up with my decision to let him contact me when he is ready to apoligize because I want him to know he hurt my feelings and that I won't accept him doing that stuff anymore. And hopefully make him realizze he was a jerk.....while risking the chance of loosing any chance I had....?

For so long it was, do I leave our friendship alone or put everything out on the table? And now....I'm just so scared of losing my chance that I don't care anymore.....

Please please please help me.............